This is the end…

Happy July, Happy Canada Day, and Happy Monday…

Tomorrow I must leave this cocoon of time off and rejoin my colleagues at work. I have already started packing my bag to go back with my water bottle and travel mug (that may permanently smell of Bengal Spice tea…), my calendar etc. I haven’t gone so far as to plan what I’m wearing tomorrow. I just know it probably won’t be yoga pants… *sigh*. ;) Oh, and I have to pack my knitting as well.

I was painting yesterday and I got my first layer of deep space black-blue down on Heavenly Bodies 2, and I roughed in more of my next Phoenix, a request from a different friend. My boyfriend thinks this one is going to be really good. I’ve finished three little Doodles recently and have two more to do. They’ll need the UV protectant soon.

I did not do as much writing, I have to say, as I wanted to or expected to. I suppose you could consider blogging to be writing. But if I claimed to have added a page to my novel, that would probably be me rounding up.

I was surprised by how the pup responded to my being here, which is to say poorly. I think the coming and going, strangers in the house (contractors) and lack of routine really exacerbated her separation anxiety. I’m hoping my going back to work will settle it down but it’s making me think.

And me? I think I responded quite well to having this space to be creative, to travel and to learn. As I said before when I was setting this up, I wish that everyone had this opportunity. Not just in terms of the leeway with their employer, but also leeway with themselves. Too many people would not, but more frighteningly *could not* absorb a 20% pay cut in order to have 20% of their normal work year free for their own use and edification. I won’t mislead you – I am budgeting for this, and there are things that I know I will forgo this year. But the longer I go without a TV, the less I want to replace it. I’m buying my music through iTunes and just buying single songs rather than buying a whole physical album at a “record store”. But that doesn’t diminish my life.

I think that this opportunity has really emphasized for me how important my painting is to me, and even my writing (that I didn’t do because I was absorbed by my painting.) I hope I will remember that and be able to convince myself to overcome tiredness to go into the studio or open my file and put something down “on paper”. I think we can convince ourselves of a lack of energy far too easily and then we slip into existing rather than living. It’s only catastrophic when you hamper your own personal development, I think, in favour of existing in a land of just needing to rest and “turn my brain off”. That’s a disservice to your brain – it’s never off and why should it be? It’s a magnificent lump of protein and nerves that is capable of so many other things than watching crap TV.

All that to say – I hope I can continue to use my time well to do things that matter to me while I get back into work. My daily yoga practice will have to happen and I need to keep reading my course material.



One thought on “This is the end…

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