I woke up in the middle of a nightmare this morning. At least, it was supposed to be a nightmare.
I got to quickly see the whole scene and how it would go before I started walking through it. Sometimes I was in a body that wasn’t mine, and sometimes I was just outside of it. “My” long, straight dark brown hair and brown eyes were a giveaway.
I was in a living room, visiting someone. There were many people in various states of unwellness, like one whose head was all bloody and drooping forward in a very exaggerated way. These weren’t hospital patients, though perhaps they should have been. They seemed more like party goers who suddenly joined the ranks of the undead and damned. I looked around and noticed various zombie-like folks.
I left the living room and followed the path I was supposed to, a hallway to a kitchen, where I met the girl with fingers made of flies. She pointed them at me and the flies started coming towards me.
This is the interesting part – by this point, you would think I would be scared, both in the dream and in my body. But I wasn’t. I just left that scene.
I found a bus, wearing only a bus pass on a lanyard. I was not bothered that I was naked or nearly so, I simply needed to leave, to go elsewhere. I didn’t feel shame or embarrassment, or even desperate need to get away. I was simply unclothed, and taking a bus.
Then, the scene switched and I was trying to get home, or somewhere safe. There was apparently a mob boss after me. Again, no panic or fear. I was basically ignoring that detail. Then I woke up.
I don’t know how I ended up having so much control in my dream, that I wasn’t reacting to any of the bad things being thrown at me. After that dream, I actually woke up at the time I’ve been trying to for months and proceeded to do my full yoga practice with a great meditation and went to work feeling pretty fine. I was productive and got a lot of my To Do list done otherwise.
I’m not desensitized to these sorts of scenes – I don’t tend to watch horror films, though I’m usually okay with a horror book now and then. I am really proud of not being afraid in this nightmare. It’s very empowering to think that one could have that kind of freedom in a dream, to actively choose to step away from a dream sequence or control one’s dream emotions.